The Twilight Zone

I don't get it. I just don't get it. A year and a half ago, after having moved from one end of Tokyo to the other, I had to reregister my address with the local council and the national public health insurance scheme. I did this on the very day I moved and was told that my new health insurance card would be issued to me with the updated information. In the meantime, I was told, if I needed to charge any medical services to the insurance scheme, I was to use my current health insurance card. So I did. Twice.

I recently got a letter from the former insurance office (near where I used to live) instructing me that I have to refund them 8,000 yen for services I charged to their office after having moved. Today, I called up my current local insurance office and told them about the letter that was sent to me from the former office, and said that seeing as I was already properly reregistered with the current office at the time I incurred those fees, I thought that I wouldn't have to pay up. Not so, apparently.

The following is the essence of the phone call I had with a person from the local insurance office earlier today.

[Bureaucrat] You need to pay the other office the requested fees.

[Me - perplexed] Why?

[Bureaucrat] Because we won't be able to reimburse you until you pay the insurance scheme the outstanding amount.

[Me - perplexed] Huh? But I thought I was covered?

[Bureaucrat] You were. You were properly registered with this local insurance office at the time you incurred the fees at the former insurance office. However, at the time you incurred the fees, you had that former insurance office listed on your insurance card, and they paid the fees on your behalf.

[Me - perplexed] But when I called the insurance office at the time, I was instructed to use that old card until the new card was issued. It took you 6 months to issue the new card, and I couldn't wait that long to get treatment.

[Bureaucrat] That's correct.

[Me - perplexed] But you're going to make me pay anyway?

[Bureaucrat] Yes.

[Me - perplexed] But it's a national health scheme. The other office is 20 minutes away by train. Why can't you just resolve it internally?

[Bureaucrat] ... (pause) ... Please pay the amount by the stipulated deadline.

[Me - perplexed] But hang on. I don't understand. I reregistered on the very day I moved, I was covered at the time I incurred the costs, I confirmed that I was still allowed to use the insurance card, I used the insurance card, and yet I am still be asked to pay the amount of money.

[Bureaucrat] Yes, but you clearly don't understand. We're going to reimburse you. It's ok.

[Me - perplexed] So you want me to reimburse the insurance scheme in order for you to then reimburse me?

[Bureaucrat] Exactly!

(Intellingent observers will note that Kallun is still perplexed by the logic)

[Me - perplexed] And this doesn't strike you as strange?

[Bureaucrat] ... (pause) ... Please pay the amount by the stipulated deadline.

[Me - perplexed] How about this? How about I forgive your debt to me, and you forgive my debt to you, and we call it even?

[Bureaucrat] But you're going to get your money back. All you have to do is go an pay the amount, get a receipt, then bring your bank account details and the receipt into the office, and fill in the paperwork, and then we will reimburse you.

[Me - perplexed] And who is going to be responsible for paying the fees?

[Bureaucrat] What fees?

[Me - perplexed] The fees I'm going to incur when I have to withdraw money via an ATM in order to pay the amount, and the costs I'm going to incur in order to get to your office, and the time I'm going to waste in order to complete the entire procedure.

[Bureaucrat] ... (pause) ... Oh. Well... we won't be reimbursing you for that.

[Me - perplexed] So, tell me if my understanding is correct - essentially, I abided by the rules, I did what you told me to do, I used the card as instructed, and now I'm going to have to pay you for something you should have paid for in the first place only to then have you reimburse me for it less the transaction and other miscellaneous costs?

[Bureaucrat] ... (pause) ... Please pay the amount by the stipulated deadline.

At this point, Kallun is sure he can hear the theme music to the Twilight Zone ringing in his ears.

I'M BACK...

...and how better to do so than with a post about a phallus. As my very humble contribution to the debate re: theories about skyscrapers and their phallic symbolism, I submit an artistic representation of the soon-to-be-opened "Cocoon Tower" in Tokyo.

Well might one argue that the graphic depiction of the design is simply innocent, and that I am decidedly perverse, but I think the following photo of a poster I saw on the train this morning advertising said phallus (and adjacent gonad) highlights my point - the graphic designers clearly have a wicked sense of humour.


I mean, seriously, why else would you advertise the opening of a new building by presenting its image horizontally if you were not trying to be a smartarse?

It gets marginally better, though. As I was trying to send this image from my Japanese mobile phone (with which I took the offending photograph) to my computer in order to upload it onto the blog, I was prompted with two menu options/messages. The first screen (on the left), provides the option of attaching the photo to an email (to then be sent to my computer). The second poorly translated screen message (on the right), though, points out in a double entendre-esque way that my photo of the phallic building might not be sent because the "other phone may not play as the size is large".


















Needless to say, this kept me amused most of the day... clearly, I have no life.