tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53992952024-03-07T23:02:16.997+09:00An Aussie in JapanJournal of an Australian grad law student in TokyoUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger178125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-91816468072840364642008-10-13T14:50:00.002+09:002008-10-13T15:02:43.525+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Goodbye</span></span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>It's time to say goodbye, I think. I have neither the time nor the motivation to continue writing posts for this blog. </div><div><br /></div><div>I originally starting writing it as a way to chronicle what I was doing in Japan primarily for friends and family back in Australia, and I had fun doing it. Now, it seems like the only thing I have to report is that I'm busy. More to the point, it seems like the only thing that I'm <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">willing </span>to report is that I'm busy. The rest of it is something I'm not prepared to publish.</div><div><br /></div><div>The blog served its purpose, and now it's time to move on. I'll be deleting it soon.</div><div><br /></div><div>Thank you for reading, and goodbye.</div><div><br /></div><div>Kallun</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-6031540458534578302008-07-16T01:54:00.008+09:002008-07-16T02:36:15.088+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">The Twilight Zone</span></span><br /></div><br />I don't get it. I <u>just</u> don't get it. A year and a half ago, after having moved from one end of Tokyo to the other, I had to reregister my address with the local council and the national public health insurance scheme. I did this <span style="font-weight: bold;">on the very day I moved</span> and was told that my new health insurance card would be issued to me with the updated information. In the meantime, I was told, if I needed to charge any medical services to the insurance scheme, I was to use my current health insurance card. So I did. Twice.<br /><br />I recently got a letter from the <span style="font-weight: bold;">former </span>insurance office <span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">(near where I used to live)</span> instructing me that I have to refund them <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">8,000 yen</span> for services I charged to their office after having moved. Today, I called up my <span style="font-weight: bold;">current </span>local insurance office and told them about the letter that was sent to me from the <span style="font-weight: bold;">former </span>office, and said that seeing as I was already properly reregistered with the <span style="font-weight: bold;">current </span>office at the time I incurred those fees, I thought that I wouldn't have to pay up. Not so, apparently.<br /><br />The following is the essence of the phone call I had with a person from the local insurance office earlier today.<br /><br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">[Bureaucrat]</span> You need to pay the other office the requested fees.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed] </span>Why?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat]</span> Because we won't be able to reimburse you until you pay the insurance scheme the outstanding amount.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed]</span> Huh? But I thought I was covered?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat]</span> You were. You were properly registered with this local insurance office at the time you incurred the fees at the former insurance office. However, at the time you incurred the fees, you had that former insurance office listed on your insurance card, and they paid the fees on your behalf.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed]</span> But when I called the insurance office at the time, I was instructed to use that old card until the new card was issued. It took you 6 months to issue the new card, and I couldn't wait that long to get treatment.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat]</span> That's correct.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed]</span> But you're going to make me pay anyway?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat] </span>Yes.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed]</span> But it's a <span style="font-weight: bold;">national health scheme</span>. The other office is 20 minutes away by train. Why can't you just resolve it internally?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat]</span> ... (pause) ... Please pay the amount by the stipulated deadline.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed] </span>But hang on. I don't understand. I reregistered on the very day I moved, I was covered at the time I incurred the costs, I confirmed that I was still allowed to use the insurance card, I used the insurance card, and yet I am still be asked to pay the amount of money.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat]</span> Yes, but you clearly don't understand. We're going to reimburse you. It's ok.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed]</span> So you want me to reimburse the insurance scheme in order for you to then reimburse me?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat] </span>Exactly!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">(Intellingent observers will note that Kallun is still perplexed by the logic)<br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">[Me - perplexed] </span>And this doesn't strike you as strange?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat]</span> ... (pause) ... Please pay the amount by the stipulated deadline.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed]</span> How about this? How about I forgive your debt to me, and you forgive my debt to you, and we call it even?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat]</span> But you're going to get your money back. All you have to do is go an pay the amount, get a receipt, then bring your bank account details and the receipt into the office, and fill in the paperwork, and then we will reimburse you.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed]</span> And who is going to be responsible for paying the fees?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat] </span>What fees?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed]</span> The fees I'm going to incur when I have to withdraw money via an ATM in order to pay the amount, and the costs I'm going to incur in order to get to your office, and the time I'm going to waste in order to complete the entire procedure.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat]</span> ... (pause) ... Oh. Well... we won't be reimbursing you for that.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Me - perplexed] </span>So, tell me if my understanding is correct - essentially, I abided by the rules, I did what you told me to do, I used the card as instructed, and now I'm going to have to pay you for something you should have paid for in the first place only to then have you reimburse me for it <span style="font-weight: bold;">less</span> the transaction and other miscellaneous costs?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />[Bureaucrat] </span>... (pause) ... Please pay the amount by the stipulated deadline.</blockquote><br />At this point, Kallun is sure he can hear the theme music to the Twilight Zone ringing in his ears.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-10795189042924105052008-07-07T19:47:00.010+09:002008-12-11T14:18:40.288+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >I'M BACK...</span></span><br /></div><br />...and how better to do so than with a post about a phallus. As my very humble contribution to the debate re: theories about <a href="http://www.cabinetmagazine.org/events/phallic/nominees.php">skyscrapers and their phallic symbolism</a>, I submit an artistic representation of the soon-to-be-opened "<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Cocoon Tower</span>" in Tokyo.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://storage.kanshin.com/free/img_33/337332/k1002021918.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px;" src="http://storage.kanshin.com/free/img_33/337332/k1002021918.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Well might one argue that the graphic depiction of the design is simply innocent, and that I am decidedly perverse, but I think the following photo of a poster I saw on the train this morning advertising said phallus (and adjacent gonad) highlights my point - the graphic designers clearly have a wicked sense of humour.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6zruQIr2V9VcoOyeSqWwDhc7twFzNzohY2damHBvqCyUMvXUgsF0jhPUvWlXlcW_YDqtk-OKxn9gX92WK9Xf-Ky6FrU6kGwjcbdlrCJAQXfc5YDLH7MzNZsCkEi1nmtqphXKeUg/s1600-h/TrainPoster.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6zruQIr2V9VcoOyeSqWwDhc7twFzNzohY2damHBvqCyUMvXUgsF0jhPUvWlXlcW_YDqtk-OKxn9gX92WK9Xf-Ky6FrU6kGwjcbdlrCJAQXfc5YDLH7MzNZsCkEi1nmtqphXKeUg/s320/TrainPoster.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220296737351875698" border="0" /></a><br />I mean, seriously, why else would you advertise the opening of a new building by presenting its image horizontally if you were not trying to be a <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">smartarse</span>?<br /><br />It gets marginally better, though. As I was trying to send this image from my Japanese mobile phone <span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">(with which I took the offending photograph)</span> to my computer in order to upload it onto the blog, I was prompted with two menu options/messages. The first screen <span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">(on the left)</span>, provides the option of attaching the photo to an email <span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">(to then be sent to my computer)</span>. The second <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">poorly translated </span>screen message <span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">(on the right)</span>, though, points out in a <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">double entendre-esque</span> way that my photo of the phallic building might not be sent because the "other phone may not play as the size is large".<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQY8E36jSi2ai0lfQNU344GkbSF2XNgH-eYKdqJZUXbuB_62u5lsx1yjobRWoA4RHwF4NKsiEPuJl8q0RRTqGT_OAsfib51VE93NYqrAqIPD7L3eTV77wSROeu5-FPVRRfiLZBSw/s1600-h/Screen1.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; width: 222px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQY8E36jSi2ai0lfQNU344GkbSF2XNgH-eYKdqJZUXbuB_62u5lsx1yjobRWoA4RHwF4NKsiEPuJl8q0RRTqGT_OAsfib51VE93NYqrAqIPD7L3eTV77wSROeu5-FPVRRfiLZBSw/s320/Screen1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220297803888024130" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPNQcRffM0CzzUgywNk5q1e9KBsOM9VTTDAFuIxlEe00sszBym5PA_PSbHOjzRffa4xT753KY6pXkMa23ydOHa1vR0-jzwohlEdjHjcHGY3Gm5Ah6vdSh38ve9-8u9spj1vYn6sQ/s1600-h/Screen2.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; float: right; display: block; cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 299px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPNQcRffM0CzzUgywNk5q1e9KBsOM9VTTDAFuIxlEe00sszBym5PA_PSbHOjzRffa4xT753KY6pXkMa23ydOHa1vR0-jzwohlEdjHjcHGY3Gm5Ah6vdSh38ve9-8u9spj1vYn6sQ/s320/Screen2.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220297905789053506" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Needless to say, this kept me amused most of the day... clearly, I have no life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-88457214773350134362008-03-08T17:12:00.004+09:002008-12-11T14:18:40.864+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);font-family:arial;font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Starbucks - Act 2</span></span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis_JsTwmSkEIgF3_TNVrcsBJuXBR-ToutfQFUUpUsVMLrDd2frzlpFMeTqOjWKA2G3RLHU70I-n1vED3kpwGnH1PcOhTxpjX3qJ6SbIoTUnSOrJ_xiv_GPNyf3s4aipBVNpQvzIQ/s1600-h/sbl.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis_JsTwmSkEIgF3_TNVrcsBJuXBR-ToutfQFUUpUsVMLrDd2frzlpFMeTqOjWKA2G3RLHU70I-n1vED3kpwGnH1PcOhTxpjX3qJ6SbIoTUnSOrJ_xiv_GPNyf3s4aipBVNpQvzIQ/s320/sbl.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5149816205117316930" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"><br /><br />[Scene]</span> I'm at Starbucks, standing in line behind a gaggle of giggling schoolgirls with no concept of volume, waiting to order. Having finished ordering, they exit stage left, and I step up to the register.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"></span><blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">[Starbucks Dude]</span> Hi. Welcome to Starbucks.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">[Me] </span>Hi. Can I have a cappuccino, please.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">[Starbucks Dude]</span> Certainly. Is that to have here or to take away?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">[Me]</span> To have here, please.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">[Starbucks Dude]</span> I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you can't - all the seats and tables are taken.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">[Me, teeth firmly gritted]</span> Well, then, I guess I'll have to have it to take away, won't I.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">[Starbucks Dude]</span> Are you sure?</blockquote><br /><br />In the darker recesses of my mind, I proceeded to commit horrible, unspeakable violence against Starbucks Dude...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-49969954037944745282007-12-31T02:14:00.000+09:002008-12-11T14:18:41.214+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);font-family:arial;font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Starbucks Spasm</span></span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis_JsTwmSkEIgF3_TNVrcsBJuXBR-ToutfQFUUpUsVMLrDd2frzlpFMeTqOjWKA2G3RLHU70I-n1vED3kpwGnH1PcOhTxpjX3qJ6SbIoTUnSOrJ_xiv_GPNyf3s4aipBVNpQvzIQ/s1600-h/sbl.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis_JsTwmSkEIgF3_TNVrcsBJuXBR-ToutfQFUUpUsVMLrDd2frzlpFMeTqOjWKA2G3RLHU70I-n1vED3kpwGnH1PcOhTxpjX3qJ6SbIoTUnSOrJ_xiv_GPNyf3s4aipBVNpQvzIQ/s320/sbl.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5149816205117316930" border="0" /></a>I was fortunate enough to be a witness today to a new dance that I have appropriately named the "<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Starbucks Spasm</span>".<br /><br />I'll explain the moves, so that you too can bust a move the next time you're off to get a hit of caffeine.<br /><br />The man sitting on the couch next to mine took off his shoes - I'm not sure if it's important for the effective performance of the dance, but if at all possible, you should also probably try to mismatch the colour of the socks as best you can... the man who performed the dance today had a clever and attractive mix of <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102); font-weight: bold;">neon pink</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">navy blue</span>... each a different styles of sock too, of course.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Step two</span> apparently involved throwing each foot up onto each armrest of the chair opposite the one you're sitting in, much like a woman would place her feet in stirrups before giving birth. I assume <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">step three</span> involves gyrating your hips and rotating your neck in clockwise and counterclockwise directions respectively, because the guy started what seemed to be a mid air yoga routine... or at least that's what I thought it was until I realised that his impressive 50 year old contortions matched the timing of the moderate-tempo Spanish music that was playing over the sound system. At this point, I concluded that it was either a clever new dance or an impressively elaborate epileptic fit.<br /><br />I doubt it'll be a dance crazy that'll take the world by storm, but then I was wrong about the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Macarena </span>too...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh86DPlfbLpqb5UsNYFE7yIXLeRjtzVZZkQ0PfUg2mpWm4cGWU4MTwNlo8AA3PsrreWK3j3HeyERCMZuYfRw9dDhraJt__X2ujUvnMsM3eeaiJljQzzV40hh1iv6KWwaYZUSpKurw/s1600-h/mcrd.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh86DPlfbLpqb5UsNYFE7yIXLeRjtzVZZkQ0PfUg2mpWm4cGWU4MTwNlo8AA3PsrreWK3j3HeyERCMZuYfRw9dDhraJt__X2ujUvnMsM3eeaiJljQzzV40hh1iv6KWwaYZUSpKurw/s320/mcrd.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5149818893766844242" border="0" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-81555006231995238292007-12-30T23:10:00.000+09:002008-12-11T14:18:41.368+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">A Considered Reflection </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">on a Considerable Period of Time</span></span><br /></div><br />This post is a manifestation of a confluence of events - the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">end of 2007</span>, my <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">1000th day in Japan</span>, and my not having anything better to do. It seems to me to be an apt time to reflect on my time in Japan in general, and on 2007 specifically.<br /><br />One of the more notable events of the year, I think, was that on March 20, I was living in a <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">concrete box</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span>with a double-glazed window that could generously <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">(and reluctantly)</span> be described as a dormitory room; and on March 21, I was not. My move to an apartment on the other side of Tokyo was not simply a geographic relocation, it was a fundamental improvement in my standard of living.<br /><br />Whereas before, when I was living in my <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">concrete box</span>, I would be awoken from my slumber by the melodious sounds of <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">metal grinding against metal</span> when the 6:02 morning train rumbled past my window; now, the only sound, if any, is the squeaking of rust wheels of the walkers used by the grandmas in my 'hood' to perambulate impatiently back and forth in front of the store on the 1st floor of my apartment building, waiting for it to open.<br /><br />Whereas before, when I was living in my <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 0);">concrete box</span>, I had to remind myself to close the curtains before getting out of the shower so as not to give the students in the high school directly opposite my window (on the other side of the train tracks) an unexpected biology lesson in <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">gaijin genitalia</span>; in my new apartment, I found myself one day looking out the window at the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">old lady</span> in the building opposite mine looking back at my recently showered, <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">wet </span>and <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">naked </span>body, and it occurred to me that I should probably <span style="font-weight: bold;">buy</span> some curtains and then keep them closed.<br /><br />Life is a learning curve, I have since discovered, and the occasional accidental expose of naked flesh makes it all the more interesting.<br /><br />Something else I learnt <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">(sans the exposure of naked flesh)</span> was always to measure the width of the hallway into the living room before ordering a <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">2</span><a style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnkG4oPz95Qv7iu0Ua3JghqtPGw9_3Dpg16DUtb1ZrXKjSnpju1hTadaMhfkXqc_5pGeqHoRut0b7qaE_ZAY6eUvNkNCX_r3X_KIVb4zzu89V8mAPgJr8HhrgkMwTWblCqYlj_fQ/s1600-h/%E7%8E%84%E9%96%A2.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnkG4oPz95Qv7iu0Ua3JghqtPGw9_3Dpg16DUtb1ZrXKjSnpju1hTadaMhfkXqc_5pGeqHoRut0b7qaE_ZAY6eUvNkNCX_r3X_KIVb4zzu89V8mAPgJr8HhrgkMwTWblCqYlj_fQ/s200/%E7%8E%84%E9%96%A2.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5149813370438901554" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"> seater couch</span>. This lesson derived from my realisation that I am, in fact, utterly incapable of manipulating the <span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">fabric of time and space</span> in order to bend the corporeal world (namely my narrow hallway) by the sheer force of my will. My creative mind lurched into action, and I conjured up the fantastical solution of energetically hurling the couch out the window of the building opposite mine and through the curtainless window of mine. However, after considered reflection, I arrived at the rather sensible conclusion that rocking up at the house of the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">old lady</span> I had exposed myself to not a few days earlier, only to then ask her to if I could eject a couch out of her window, would be a considerably big ask...<br /><br />Part 2 to follow tomorrow.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-75528925528405489462007-12-23T14:03:00.000+09:002007-12-23T14:05:39.456+09:00<span style="font-family: verdana; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">A milestone</span></span><br /><br />The end of 2007 pretty much coincides with my 1000th day of living in Japan (this time around, at least), so I'll try and get something written for that day...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-29170150890737982752007-11-23T02:14:00.000+09:002007-11-23T02:55:16.588+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Language War - Part 3</span></span><br /></div><br />After not having heard from Aunty I in a while, I arrived at the conclusion that she was recovering from the last devastating exchange, and so I decided to launch what I thought would be my final assault.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">(Here are the links for </span><a style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);" href="http://kallun.blogspot.com/2007/11/language-war-part-1-on-september-18.html">part 1</a><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"> and </span><a style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);" href="http://kallun.blogspot.com/2007/11/language-war-part-2-here-is-part-2-of.html">part 2</a><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">.)</span><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br />------------------------------------<br /></div><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:85%;" ><b><br />From:</b> Kallun<br /><b>Sent:</b> Monday, November 12, 2007 5:05 PM<br /><b>To:</b> Aunty I<br /><b>Subject:</b> Language War</span><br /><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" ><br />Dear Ms. Aunty I,</span><p> </p> <p><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Your prolonged silence has led me to believe that you have been humbled by my superior language skills. This is understandable.</span></p> <p><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >I would like to make two amendments to two previous emails. I feel that I am entitled to make such changes as the Law of Language War, Article 17 stipulates that amendments to a previous email are permitted only if the recipient of such email has yet to respond. As such, my amendments are as follows:</span></p> <p><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >1. Email sent to Ms. Aunty I dated September 19, 2007 at 11:53.</span> </p> <p> <span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" > "</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >As to you first comment," will be amended to "As to your first comment,"</span> </p> <p><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >2. Email sent to Ms. Aunty I dated September 19, 2007 at 15:57.</span> </p> <p> <span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" > "</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >After having reviewed the substance" will be amended to "After reviewing the substance"</span> </p> <p><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >That is all. I await your surrender.</span> </p> <b><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Kallun<br /></span></b><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> ------------------------------------<br /></div><b><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" ><br /></span></b><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:85%;" ><b>From:</b> Aunty I<br /><b>Sent:</b> 12 November 2007 18:38<br /><b>To:</b> Kallun<br /><b>Subject:</b> RE: Language War<br /></span><br /><div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Dear Mr. Kallun "You Are Not Worthy" <span style="font-style: italic;">[Insert surname here]</span>,<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"></span> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >I am not familiar with the Law of Language War, Article 17. I strongly suspect that the reason for this unfamiliarity is that said Article either does not in fact exist, or exists only because you created it arbitrarily and without mandate or consent from any recognized legislative authority (and far worse, without damn well asking me first!)<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"></span> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >I do not accept your purported revisions to glaring mistakes you previously made, which have been carefully saved for posterity in my Outlook folders, and therefore should be considered set in stone. What is done is done, and you shall bear the consequences.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"></span> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >At this point, I have no intention of surrendering, except in disgust.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"></span> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Yours sincerely,</span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" ><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Aunty I</span><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="EC_156182809-12112007"></span><span class="EC_156182809-12112007"><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Worthy Opponent</span></span><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-66782114091435433332007-11-18T22:08:00.000+09:002007-11-18T22:19:32.501+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Language War - Part 2</span></span><br /></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />Here is part 2 of the Language War (part 1 is <a href="http://kallun.blogspot.com/2007/11/language-war-part-1-on-september-18.html">here</a>). I should point out that Aunty I is not an actual relative, but a friend from university.<br /></span><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:100%;" ><b><br /></b></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:100%;" ><b><br />From:</b> Kallun<br /><b>Sent:</b> 19 September 2007 15:57<br /><b>To:</b> Aunty I<br /><b>Subject:</b> RE: Language War</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Dear <strong>Ms.</strong> Aunty I,<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Pitying you as I do, I made a concerted attempt to 'infect' my email with certain, intentional failings for two reasons:<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >(1) to test you; and</span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >(2) to give <strong>something</strong> to comment on, lest you collapse into a crying pile of self-doubt.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >As to you first comment, I consulted my copy of the the Macquarie Dictionary to ascertain whether you were correct or woefully, hopelessly incorrect in your assertion that "Ms." was a stylistic practice unique to the United States of America. Sadly, again, you are mistaken. In fact, "Ms." is an honorific employed in Australia.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_406213202-19092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Unfortunately, you did not 'find' all of the 'Easter eggs' I left for you. This saddens me. It really does.</span></span></span></div> <div> </div> <div><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" ><br />Additional comments on the erroneous usage of punctuation and grammar in the pigswill of an email you wrote (dated 18 September, 2007) are forthcoming.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >This list is too long for me to deal with at this time.</span></span></div> <div> </div> <div><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" ><br />Yours sincerely,</span></span></div> <div><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Kallun </span></span></div><div><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" ><br />P.S. Please note that "Nahni nahni nah nah" is actually spelt "narni narni nar nar". That is all.<br /></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="EC_406213202-19092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" ><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:100%;" ><b><br />From:</b> Kallun<br /><b>Sent:</b> 19 September 2007 15:57<br /><b>To:</b> Aunty I<br /><b>Subject:</b> RE: Language War<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">Dear Ms. Aunty I,<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">After having reviewed the substance of your invective-filled email, I feel that it is incumbent upon me to address certain elements raised by you that are inexcusably incorrect.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">First, I would like to direct your attention to the 'em-dash' point in which you stated "dashes were used incorrectly in place of em-dashes." This statement is inherently self-conflicting. Were I to perform the mental contortions necessary to understand the flawed logic of this statement, I would have no choice but to conclude that 'dashes' and 'em-dashes' are mutually exclusive concepts. This, I'm sure you'll agree after considered reflection, is not the case. What I suspect you meant to say was that "<strong>en-dashes</strong> were used incorrectly in place of <strong>em-dashes</strong>." I reach this conclusion because it is obvious that the em-dash is a <strong>type</strong> of dash, as is the en-dash.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">The basic premise of your argument, however, is incorrect. Please refer to the following website: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Em-dash#Em_dash" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Em-dash#Em_dash</a><br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">Of particular note is the following passage:</span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <blockquote dir="ltr" style="margin-right: 0px;"> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">"<a title="The Elements of Typographic Style" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elements_of_Typographic_Style" target="_blank"><em>The Elements of Typographic Style</em></a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> recommends the more concise spaced en dash – like so – and argues that the length and visual magnitude of an em dash "belongs to the padded and corseted aesthetic of Victorian typography". The spaced en dash is also the house style for certain major publishers (</span><a title="Penguin Group" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penguin_Group" target="_blank">Penguin</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> and </span><a title="Routledge" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Routledge" target="_blank">Routledge</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> among them). However, some longstanding typographical guides such as </span><i><a title="The Chicago Manual of Style" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chicago_Manual_of_Style" target="_blank">The Chicago Manual of Style</a></i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> still recommend unspaced em dashes for this purpose. In practice, there is little consensus, and it is a matter of personal or house taste; the important thing is that usage should be consistent." (<em>sic</em>)<br /><br /></span></span></span></div></blockquote> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">One could thus conclude that the en-dash is preferable to those of us who choose to converse in British English. Given your particular situation in life, I suppose you may be forgiven in your misguided belief that the em-dash should prevail in any and all circumstances.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">What is particularly striking, however, is the unrestrained <strong>glee</strong> with which you articulated your disdain. Were I to diagnose this, I would assume that you suffer from 'premature elation'. I suspect that there may be an ointment to remedy this affliction, and I wish you well in your treatment.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">Finally, you inappropriately indicted me as a "pedant who does not appreciate the intricacies of modern English language usage, including the appropriate use of relaxed grammatical standards in informal e-mail correspondence." This is unwarranted, as you were well aware that a formal declaration of language war had been issued <strong>prior </strong>to the offending e-mails. Accordingly, any "relaxed grammatical standards in informal e-mail correspondence" constitutes a poor tactical move on your part. Needless to say, Napoléon Bonaparte would be appalled.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">I await your surrender.</span></span></div> <div><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">That is all.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">Yours sincerely,</span></span></div> <div><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_913332806-19092007">Kallun</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-36196346823174691232007-11-15T21:56:00.000+09:002007-11-15T22:37:53.060+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Language War - Part 1</span></span><br /></div><br />On September 18, 2007, I declared <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Language War</span> on <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">Aunty I</span>. I was compelled to do this as a preemptive measure to what I was sure was going to be an <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">imminent syntactic assault</span> on the grammar contained in an email I had written her.<br /><br />Two and a half months have since passed, and it's a <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">merciless </span>and <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">bloody </span>battlefield out there in the digital ether! The serenity of Tokyo proper has been <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">scathed </span>and <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">scarred </span>with the <span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">malicious mêlée of missives</span> back and forth across the broadband spectrum. A multitude of violent verbs and nouns and adjectives have been volleyed at <span style="font-weight: bold;">yours truly</span>, and all I've had to defend myself with from <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">Aunty I's</span> attacks is my copy of the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Australian Macquarie dictionary</span> and the confidence I have in my (some would say "superior") English language abilities.<br /><br />I submit, as <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">Exhibit A</span>, round 1 of this semantic scrum!<br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">(I've used pseudonyms for the email exchange. Also, my comments on her previous emails are the ones in red, unless it isn't already obvious.)</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:100%;">-------------------------------------------------<br /></span><div style="text-align: left;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b>From:</b> Kallun<br /><b>Sent:</b> Tuesday, September 18, 2007 3:00 PM<br /><b>To:</b> Aunty I<br /><b>Subject:</b> Language War<br /><br /></span> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_349324905-18092007">Dear Ms. Aunty I,</span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_349324905-18092007">Please be informed that as per the email exchange dated August 24, 2007, I have compiled the following emails, and will now proceed to highlight what I believe to be failings, flaws, and other offensive foibles in the language contained therein.</span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_349324905-18092007">That is all.</span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_349324905-18092007">Thank you.</span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span class="EC_349324905-18092007">Kallun<br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div><blockquote><div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> <hr style="height: 3px;"> <span style="font-size:100%;"><b>From:</b> Aunty I<br /><b>Sent:</b> 14 September 2007 17:06<br /><b>To:</b> Kallun<br /><b>Subject:</b> RE: The silence is deafening...<br /><br /></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="EC_330330508-14092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">jesus. this is really very bad!!</span></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="EC_330330508-14092007"></span> </span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="EC_330330508-14092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><strong><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">[Comment] Ignoring the blasphemy, both sentences violate capitalisation protocols. Additionally, "really very bad" is either a redundant (ie: double) hyperbole, or it is missing a comma.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></div></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span> <div class="EC_OutlookMessageHeader" dir="ltr" align="left" lang="en-us"> <hr style="height: 3px;"> <span style="font-size:100%;"><b>From:</b> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Aunty I<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><b>Sent:</b> 13 September 2007 16:42<br /><b>To:</b> Kallun<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CC: </span>Aunty M<br /><b>Subject:</b> RE: The silence is deafening...<br /><br /></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="EC_168093907-13092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">I am lost in the world of paperwork. Good times!</span></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="EC_168093907-13092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Actually, going quite OK.</span></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="EC_168093907-13092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Sorry for the long silence.</span></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="EC_168093907-13092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">How are those housewarming party plans coming, you two?!<span class="EC_349324905-18092007"> </span></span></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="EC_168093907-13092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><span class="EC_330330508-14092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><strong><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">[Comment] The sentence - "Actually, going quite OK" - lacks a subject. Please rectify this at your earliest convenience, as I am still quiet unsure as to 'what' is "going quite OK" (sic).</span></strong></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="EC_168093907-13092007"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><span class="EC_330330508-14092007"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><strong>Finally, "you two?!" can be either a question, or an exclamation. It cannot be both.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></span></div></blockquote><div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="EC_168093907-13092007"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><span class="EC_330330508-14092007"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></span></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:100%;">-------------------------------------------------<br /></span></div><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);font-size:100%;" >Aunty I</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> responded with the following: </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);font-size:100%;" >(I've replace my surname with my first name.)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:100%;">-------------------------------------------------<br /></span></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:100%;" ><b>From:</b> Aunty I<br /><b>Sent:</b> 18 September 2007 21:44<br /><b>To:</b> Kallun<br /><b>Subject:</b> RE: Language War<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Dear Mr Kallun,<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >You are a pedant who does not appreciate the intricacies of modern English language usage, including the appropriate use of relaxed grammatical standards in informal e-mail correspondence.<br /><br /> </span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >I would, however, have been able to accept your comments with good grace, had it not been for the sad lack </span></span><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >of attention to basic rules of spelling, grammar and consistency in your message below.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" > </span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >First, in your e-mail below, you referred to me initially as "Ms. Aunty I", suggesting that you proposed to adopt the spelling and stylistic practices of the United States of America. If this was your intention, then in your first comment in red, "capitalisation" should have been spelt "capitalization", and "ie" should have been spelt "<em>i.e.</em>".<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Second, please re-acquaint yourself with the use of colons, as "<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><strong>(ie</strong><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">[<em>sic]</em></span><strong>: double)</strong></span>" demonstrates incorrect use of the colon, you ignorant loon.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Third, in the comment, "<span class="EC_269505506-18092007"><span class="EC_168093907-13092007"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><span class="EC_330330508-14092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><strong>[Comment] The sentence - "Actually, going quite OK" - lacks a subject.</strong></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>, dashes were used incorrectly in place of em-dashes. </span></span><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >If you are, at this moment, asking yourself, "What the hell are em-dashes?", then perhaps, you young whippersnapper, you will find it necessary to admit that you have chosen to declare Language War on a formidable opponent.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" > </span><div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Finally, please clarify the meaning of "quiet unsure", as used in the sentence below:</span></span></span></div><span class="EC_269505506-18092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" > </span></span><div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_168093907-13092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" ><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><span class="EC_330330508-14092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="EC_349324905-18092007"><strong><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Please rectify this at your earliest convenience, as I am still quiet unsure as to 'what' is "going quite OK" (sic).<br /><br /></span></strong></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" > </span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >In short, Mr Kallun, your scathing comments on others' alleged failings would be better received, and far more persuasive, if delivered in a manner free from basic errors. Your pitiful effort below begs the inference that the writer is patently unqualified to form judgments on the correct use of the English language.<br /><br /> </span></span></div></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"></span> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Nahni nahni nah nah.<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"></span> </div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Yours sincerely,</span></span></div> <div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="EC_269505506-18092007" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);font-family:Arial;" >Aunty I<br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:100%;">-------------------------------------------------</span><br /></div><br />Stay tuned for further developments... Victory is in sight!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-5894538967229984902007-11-11T03:25:00.000+09:002007-11-11T21:32:17.547+09:00<div align="right"><strong><i><span><span><span><span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">What? Me? An idiot?</span></span></span></span></span></span></i></strong><br /></div><br />Anyone who knows me in any capacity will readily attest to the fact that I never admit to having done something stupid. Today, here on this blog, I am going to make history.<br /><br />I am sitting at Sydney international airport right now, all alone in the departure terminal, looking suspiciously at the janitor who is looking suspiciously back at me. It's almost like we're in the <span><span><strong><span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">O.K. Corral</span></span></strong></span></span>, staring each other down, about to quickdraw our guns, or mobile phones, or whatever... I'm waiting for a tumbleweed to casually bounce past. I suddenly see a flash of movement! ...Phew, it's only the barista popping his head up from behind the coffee cart. Deep breathes.<br /><br />I'm waiting here at 4am, amongst broom-weilding, detergent-slinging cowboy-janitors, a mere <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span><strong><span><span>6 hours before my scheduled departure</span></span></strong></span></span> for Japan. One might be forgiven for thinking that I'm an overly eager, excessively anal traveler. Not so.<br /><br />As I was packing yesterday, my mum asked me what time the flight for Japan would be leaving. I glanced at my e-ticket and thought my flight was leaving at 7:05am. As such, I made arrangements for my parents to wake themselves up at 4am for no other reason than to call my mobile phone (I was staying at a hotel in Sydney) and make sure that I was awake.<br /><br />As it turned out, I didn't need them to because between checking into the hotel at 11pm, and checking out at 4am, I was fortunate enough to have been an audience to an <span>(almost) half-hourly</span> performance by <strong><i><span><span><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">La Orchestra de McDonald's Carpark Hooligans</span></span></span></i></strong> with their rousing rendition of <span><i><strong><span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">"Honk-Honk-Fully sic, bro-Honk-Honk-Get out of his car, ya f$#king slut-Honk-Honk"</span></span></strong></i></span> in G-Minor. Needless to say, I was in no danger of falling asleep and missing my scheduled check-in and departure time.<br /><br />So I finally get to the airport, and discover that my flight does not leave at 7:05am, but 10:25am. In fact, the 705 number was the flight number...<br /><br />And so it is, without further ado, that I hereby announce that <strong><span><span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I am an idiot</span></span></span>.</strong><br /><br />That is all, thank you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-8238791737793086562007-10-22T18:00:00.000+09:002007-10-22T21:03:09.618+09:00Hermit mode<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Where have you been?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Well, you see, I have a secret! Well... not so much a secret as an explanation! Well... not so much an explanation as an excuse. I have my final round of exams next week that I have to pass in order to be admitted as a solicitor (lawyer) in Australia. Accordingly, I have entered </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Hermit mode</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">... no social activities, no fun, nothing.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">That explains nothing! Why the hell haven't you been posting?<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">It's a mixture of not having anything interesting to write, no time to write it, and simply not being in the mood.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Liar! I have it on good authority that you just went on an all-expenses paid trip to Thailand! Explain yourself!<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Ok, ok, that's true, but it wasn't all that interesting.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Oh really!?! I heard that you got food poisoning, and were on your death bed.<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Again, it is true that I did get food poisoning, but it wasn't really that interesting or blog-worthy... and I'd be interested to know where you got your inside information from. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Never you mind, fool! When do you plan to write something new?<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">In two weeks time, after the exams... and after I get psychiatric treatment for this predilection I seem to have in arguing with myself.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">See that you do!<br /><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-28930155259641540442007-10-11T06:44:00.000+09:002008-12-11T14:18:41.687+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I know, I know...</span></span><br /></div><br />I know - I haven't updated this blog in ages, and it doesn't look like I will until next week at the earliest. In the mean time, I have finally managed to obtain photographic evidence of the <a href="http://kallun.blogspot.com/2007/09/curious-cuff-links-i-was-at-upmarket.html">Curious Cuff Links</a> that I posted about <span style="font-weight: bold;">O so many moons ago</span> (early September). I was accused of fabricating the story - not so!<br /><br />I hereby submit the following as <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Exhibit A</span>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRxv0Gj_WJGjzPbGsvU0iArzZxy-nzKZu2-LB2mYzzDnmJ9qiPIvQRJRVO4VJji_wQCizx93C8-QE804fwnPvuHrNFuFDcOtoBN403dHj9yYGcN6Q1UWs4hGbo_xzZ9to-OhDg9A/s1600-h/proof.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRxv0Gj_WJGjzPbGsvU0iArzZxy-nzKZu2-LB2mYzzDnmJ9qiPIvQRJRVO4VJji_wQCizx93C8-QE804fwnPvuHrNFuFDcOtoBN403dHj9yYGcN6Q1UWs4hGbo_xzZ9to-OhDg9A/s320/proof.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119828281136144738" border="0" /></a><br />In order to take the photo, I had to fool the sales assistant into thinking that I was actually keen on buying it on behalf of a friend who, for whatever reason, couldn't make it to the shop and would not buy it without seeing it for himself/herself. He reluctantly obliged. Fool.<br /><br />In case you're wondering, they cost about AU$100... and no, I didn't buy any.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-53409727305499254762007-09-15T09:53:00.000+09:002007-09-15T10:08:03.313+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: arial;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">It still makes me laugh...</span></span><br /></div><br />I <a href="http://kallun.blogspot.com/2005/03/bloody-hilarious-animation-on-web.html">posted this before</a> - in fact, it was one of my first ever posts, but that was in the pre-YouTube era. I'm posting it again for no other reason than it still makes me laugh.<br /><br /><br /><object height="353" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/m9v0VdQuNoo"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/m9v0VdQuNoo" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="353" width="425"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-12174096701573804162007-09-06T15:50:00.000+09:002008-12-11T14:18:41.931+09:00<div align="right"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#6600cc;"><em>There's a storm a-brewing!</em></span></strong></div><br /><strong><span style="color:#006600;">Typhoon No. 9</span></strong> is about to hit <strong><span style="color:#000099;">Tokyo</span></strong> - but it's ok, because I have my <strong><span style="color:#ff6600;">snorkel</span></strong>, my <strong><span style="color:#006600;">floaties</span></strong>, my <strong><span style="color:#000099;">flippers</span></strong> and a <strong><span style="color:#993399;">nifty little swimming costume</span></strong> prepared.<br /><br />Presumably, there were eight other typhoons this season, but they clearly weren't as <strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">bad-ass</span></strong> as this one, because this is the only one that caused my company to start issuing warning bulletins to us by email. If we don't receive any more bulletins, we can assume one of three things:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>(1) that the danger has passed, and that we're all going to be ok;<br />(2) that the management don't want to alarm us, and to keep us working and make as much money out of us for as long as possible before we get blown away to the four edges of the world; or<br />(3) that the typhoon has already affected the internet servers for all of Japan (it happened not too long ago with an earthquake), all <strong><span style="color:#000099;">'imminent impact'</span></strong> warning emails have failed, and we're all doomed, <strong><em><span style="color:#990000;">DOOMED I SAY</span></em></strong>!<br /></blockquote><p><br />Now I sit here blowing up my floaties - waiting, blowing, waiting, blowing... </p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5106981379287336146" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGyAzVcvDF_XvseHkxDrz0lZYYm0rpt04i2Kntfvhv8e82lao_4qwpSKFWiUaKPV18sXQrYLKH8XIYZq-CKFd9EI_8uctZWDHUIxvbr3yfbpwJbRrBsRLuKbfGIvtyy-FY0V4Ugg/s320/typha.jpg" border="0" />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-31964130717402390142007-09-04T04:18:00.001+09:002008-12-11T14:18:42.536+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Curious Cuff Links</span></span><br /></div><br />I was at a upmarket clothes store the other day, buying a shirt, and I went over to the display case to look at their cuff links. They had three pairs, each with a picture and a title to go with each picture.<br /><br />The first set had a picture of a muffler and a beaver.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQYx8kyxsbjXxv88hJ0aCwdGB5LX8SOdJQ97D3HShSRW4XvpLHyn7XXLx1DakDWQk6eABOayqna-FfJ3Gw14z5Dpe_tML6hvdWXx7g3RWlu-xxGu7IiKdnb7Pp0TIM7uqCLv5qQ/s1600-h/lb.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQYx8kyxsbjXxv88hJ0aCwdGB5LX8SOdJQ97D3HShSRW4XvpLHyn7XXLx1DakDWQk6eABOayqna-FfJ3Gw14z5Dpe_tML6hvdWXx7g3RWlu-xxGu7IiKdnb7Pp0TIM7uqCLv5qQ/s200/lb.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5106062956365661378" border="0" /></a><br />It said "<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Muff</span>" and "<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Beaver</span>".<br /><br />The second set had a picture of a donkey and a little boy. It said "<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Donkey</span>" and "<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">Dick</span>".<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freeclipartpics.com/"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwS0v3X9A3rjdCFWzzz6UcR3hyphenhyphenJ3KpmzNFIucq92j2h6x_KJEPnNdAosgKqd1LoNaqE4F5acbVpkqUSCsMVX0DV-XgwfWzzFZFGWpPFseRLB-qh9NutxReOqtm5tT_6DZZ12Mvnw/s200/dog.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5106061856854033586" border="0" /></a>The third set had a picture of a puppy and a lady model. It said "<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">Doggy</span>" and "<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Style</span>".<br /><br />The sales assistant couldn't work out why I broke out into a fit of laughter...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-17963428463106604702007-08-29T23:36:00.000+09:002007-08-30T00:49:58.149+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">IT'S ALIVE!!!</span></span><br /></div><br />It's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ok</span>, I'm <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ok</span> - recall the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">emergency rescue services</span> and cancel the <span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-weight: bold;">search party</span>. I'm alive, and I survived the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">bar exam</span>. Thanks to those people who contacted me out of concern - no, my pile of trust accounting notes did not collapse on top of me, thus drowning me in a sea of accounts receivable and office receipts. And no, sadly, the criminal law practical component wasn't nearly as interesting as being asked to commit a crime, get caught, and then circumnavigate the tortuous criminal justice system - the first checkpoint, ideally, would have been seeing how long you could last detained in custody with a disturbingly affectionate cell mate named <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Bubba</span></span>. This, of course, does not mean that I can't take a crack at it, but simply that I won't be getting credit for it.<br /><br />No, the bar exam program comprised of an utterly unoriginal combination of written exams and mock trials, dragged out for a <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">yawn-inducing two weeks</span>. The best part would have been on the second Friday - the last day of exams - when all us budding lawyers stumbled out of the exam hall, jaywalked across the road and waltzed straight into the pub conveniently located just opposite the law college to suck up any unassuming law students who happen to be passing by, and into a mire of alcoholism.<br /><br />So there we were - now budding alcoholics regaling each other with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">faux</span> modesty about how '<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">difficult</span>' we found the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">inane exams</span>, and interrogating each other with our newly acquired cross-examination techniques to find out who amongst us was <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">single </span>and on the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">prowl</span>... or maybe it just me doing the interrogating... and maybe it was just me who was single and on the prowl... three hours of solid drinking with no food has made my memory of the event somewhat fuzzy...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-36005977070348169282007-07-27T09:46:00.000+09:002007-07-27T10:14:32.905+09:00<div align="right"><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;color:#006600;">Bar Exam</span></em></strong></div><br />I'm busy. So stupidly, insanely busy.<br />I'm back in Australia studying for and sitting my bar exam for my qualification to practice as a lawyer.<br /><br />I'll write again once that's all done.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-7978992787433389722007-07-18T01:09:00.000+09:002007-07-18T01:19:14.943+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Ironic?</span></span><br /></div><br />I'm taking a class at University on <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Professional Ethics for Lawyers</span>. There are several subtopics, and the one that I've elected to focus on is <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">"</span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">whistleblowing</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">" </span>- as in, to report something when you see something unethical/illegal taking place. In researching my subtopic in preparation for a submission to the class, I noticed that the submission of one of my classmates for a different subtopic <span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0); font-weight: bold;">is directly copied</span> (in part) from a speech given by some expert in the area.<br /><br />Now, is this not <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">irony</span>?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-6920001865747480092007-07-13T22:46:00.000+09:002008-12-11T14:18:43.203+09:00<div style="text-align: right;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-family:courier new;font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-style: italic;">Don't drop the soap!</span></span><br /></div><br />"Whatever you do, don't drop the soap!", he said.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOf_5-8noG2zazrhmZPqdkBSE9V9S1cJoT7nGSLUJTUmKDF-fuEln-0orcO1fplbHuKLkw-im7UIQX27DsVBbW8YejbW0IxdcQtqBx8IINAz_yml3yjFXL6H42TpoJud5YemwGqg/s1600-h/ddts.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOf_5-8noG2zazrhmZPqdkBSE9V9S1cJoT7nGSLUJTUmKDF-fuEln-0orcO1fplbHuKLkw-im7UIQX27DsVBbW8YejbW0IxdcQtqBx8IINAz_yml3yjFXL6H42TpoJud5YemwGqg/s320/ddts.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5086681512187032338" border="0" /></a>My boss was ever so clever with his witticisms, such that when I told him that I was going to visit the local jail as a part of a university field trip, he came up with this brilliant adage on bathroom behaviour.<br /><br />Indeed, it was true that when my professor gave me a copy of the itinerary for the day at the bar after class, I mistakenly used it as a coaster for my beer and so I had no idea what the field trip would involve. I did, however, correctly suspect that my day would not involve showering with inmates, much less the handling of hygiene products of any description.<br /><br />My boss laughed, amused at his excellent sense of humour... I chuckled nervously, and silently resolved that I would shower twice a day for the week preceding the field trip to decrease any likelihood that the professor would spontaneously suggest that I join the inmates in sudding up.<br /><br />I made it through to the end of the day of the field trip with the biblical integrity of my posterior intact...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-47169091272127979012007-06-16T16:59:00.000+09:002008-12-11T14:18:43.701+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">The Bachelor Pad Discoveries - Part 1</span></span><br /></div><br />Two months down, and I'm finally settled into my new bachelor pad. Since I first <a href="http://kallun.blogspot.com/2007/04/this-is-beginning-of-something.html">moved in</a>, I have made a number of discoveries - including those of the <a href="http://kallun.blogspot.com/2007/04/this-is-beginning-of-something.html">unpleasant, olfactory variety.</a><br /><br />I have discovered this - given the distinct topography of my suburb and the particular aerodynamic qualities of my neighbourhood, when I open both the door in my bedroom (that leads onto the veranda) and the window in my living room, I can create a <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">wind-tunnel</span> - the ferocity of which can be tempered in part by my repositioning of the sliding door that separates the two rooms.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxguX_6hrR4egTyQ95W0lHVeTIfx1ys_T_derDXK00xsetNxK9fu4m-eB-hluSXrF2BBg_kjzKN-5KbNPuWf5UNxLMEgiEo_la_ygUSctSYKEJPt7nPXgCtp6lyE7Qwo0pBnwIzA/s1600-h/ht.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxguX_6hrR4egTyQ95W0lHVeTIfx1ys_T_derDXK00xsetNxK9fu4m-eB-hluSXrF2BBg_kjzKN-5KbNPuWf5UNxLMEgiEo_la_ygUSctSYKEJPt7nPXgCtp6lyE7Qwo0pBnwIzA/s320/ht.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076327210357366210" border="0" /></a>This God-like power to summon a veritable tornado in my apartment is especially handy now that it's summer in Japan. The downside, of course, is that it is entirely possible that any posters I put up on my walls of <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">naughty girls</span> in <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">naughty positions</span> wearing <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">naughty, naughty negligé</span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">(if any)</span> </span>could get sucked out the window, never to be seen again...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-70752918793142430952007-06-01T15:15:00.000+09:002008-12-11T14:18:43.919+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">People of the <span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">P</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">o</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">l</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">k</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">a</span>-<span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">d</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">o</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">t</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">t</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">e</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">d</span> Persuasion</span></span><br /></div><br />Measles, measles everywhere, and not a spot to be seen...<br /><br />It is to the eternal regret of my mother that I was never fortunate enough to contract measles or chicken pox as a child. Try as she might to 'socialise' me with the neighbourhood kids <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">(each of whom were scratching, blotchy messes)</span>, her little boy's immune system was ever-so strong, and curiously insusceptible to the contagious <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">trials</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">tribulations </span>of other little boys and girls.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyWG7Z7frM6v4gyCOQQYwm8I-QyMXEZAqJzjCzjQseUvGDGTy0mINUNN8XGVDbqujkau6-CKq4PGUEtTdc-Q6hyphenhyphenwJqyBd6EO7UG3VxtFBu3Rx0saBKrwabHBOcZf3SENupCAJp5w/s1600-h/mc.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyWG7Z7frM6v4gyCOQQYwm8I-QyMXEZAqJzjCzjQseUvGDGTy0mINUNN8XGVDbqujkau6-CKq4PGUEtTdc-Q6hyphenhyphenwJqyBd6EO7UG3VxtFBu3Rx0saBKrwabHBOcZf3SENupCAJp5w/s320/mc.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070976148851153474" border="0" /></a><br />With my now advanced age, my immune system <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">(my defense against the <span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">mercurial </span>temperament of <span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">mother nature</span> and her occasional tantrums direct at my person)</span> has taken a battering of late through a combination of self-induced insomnia and sustained, yet moderated, self-abuse of the alcoholic variety.<br /><br />And so it is that I, with my less-than-perfect immune system, find myself in a city that is now in the midst of an outbreak of measles on many of the campuses of its many universities... while some might call this a <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">curious coincidence</span>, I'm inclined to attribute it to the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">continued collusion of the malevolent fates conspiring against me</span>... Supporting my theory of a damnable and malicious cosmic force, I am further aided by the evidence that whilst other universities have shutdown, mine has done little more than send out a half-hearted email to students <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">(of which I was apparently not on the mailing list, and had to have it forwarded to me by a friend)</span> urging those inflicted with polka-dots to stay at home... the rest of us, I assume, can be damned...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-82870736402989988952007-04-24T21:21:00.000+09:002007-04-24T21:39:17.439+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Thailand photos...</span></span><br /></div><br />I'm too busy to write anything this week, so I thought I'd just post some photos that I took in Thailand. I've also uploaded two videos to YouTube - (1) a (almost) panoramic view of the Grand Palace in Bangkok, and (2) footage of traffic in Chiang Mai.<br /><br />Boring, I know, but unavoidable...<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/20249987@N00/432318230/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/169/432318230_58f5abe297.jpg" alt="Palace" height="500" width="375" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/20249987@N00/432318250/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/169/432318250_eda539081b.jpg" alt="Buddha" height="500" width="375" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/20249987@N00/432327857/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/154/432327857_d2ac10e27e.jpg" alt="Palace 3" width="400" /></a><br /><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GBrU2ra4FY4"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GBrU2ra4FY4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">------Night Markets-----</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/20249987@N00/432327863/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/180/432327863_cb7633918e.jpg" alt="Night Markets" width="400" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/20249987@N00/432327865/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/159/432327865_5e098d490d.jpg" alt="Chiang Mai 2" width="400" /></a><br /><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dxpI62Wqibc"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dxpI62Wqibc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-56566190601665475812007-04-12T23:14:00.000+09:002008-12-11T14:18:44.069+09:00<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Sensibility versus Sanity</span></span><br /></div><br />My master plan was brilliantly devised and yet deceptively simple. The strategy that I had cleverly crafted in order to survive the IT orientation presentation today involved supplies (an assortment of foodstuffs and carbonated liquid refreshments), various reading materials (designed to offset the mental numbness that would undoubtedly ensue) and prior planned seating arrangements towards the very back of the room (located to leave me partially obscured by a pillar and the heads of my fellow audience members). Supplies in hand, I marched triumphant into the classroom.<br /><br />Or rather, the <span style="font-style: italic;">empty</span> classroom.<br /><br />Or so I thought, until a solitary head popped out from behind the lectern. “Good,” the head proclaimed, “lets get started with the presentation, shall we?”<br /><br />My instincts screamed at me to <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">run</span>: <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">run far</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">run fast</span>. Just as the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Forest Gump</span> music started to play in my mind, the neurons in my brain fired into action, and explained that if I didn’t stay, I’d be <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">doomed </span>to yet another year of not being able to access the internet at university – no email, no law database, no YouTube…<br /><br />The head behind the lectern (which I later discovered was attached to an actual body) stared at me, perplexed. No doubt confused at my sudden onset of <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">paralysis</span>; oblivious to my inner turmoil; ignorant of the war that waged within between my <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"></span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">intellect </span>and my <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">instincts </span>– the opposing forces of <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">sensibility </span>and <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">sanity</span>…<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Sensibility </span>roared victorious: <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Sanity </span>lay in tatters on the imaginary ground in my mind, limp and lifeless. I collapsed defeated in the nearest seat in the empty room, tears welling in my eyes.<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">“This is a table,” the bodied head exclaimed, pointing to a photo of what was indeed a table. </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">“You can put your laptop on this table. This is an internet connection. You can plug your laptop into the internet connection. In order to do so, however, you need a cable.” </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">A picture of a blue cable appears on the projector screen (see below). “But <span style="font-weight: bold;">not this </span>cable,” he cautioned, “this is the wrong type of cable. You need a different type of cable. Now this is a printer...” </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">The picture of the offending cable disappeared, and was replaced with a clipart cartoon representation of what could generously be called a printer. It’s really anyone’s guess what the correct cable might actually look like…</span></blockquote><br />I think I died a little today.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">----A picture of the offending cable----</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSK2Aw1A5Qi1rcUwLwUkqNjCJeoJi-d-EwJHtO-90w3nSaBlpiQSEg7yf8U1UrNiC8k-sMesIMrb6Sfllwyu5kN5J7PYiPwVwdQALLl9nVaEZnjwtlOBJqUn_SD1kB77BOSNZZnQ/s1600-h/TS290247.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSK2Aw1A5Qi1rcUwLwUkqNjCJeoJi-d-EwJHtO-90w3nSaBlpiQSEg7yf8U1UrNiC8k-sMesIMrb6Sfllwyu5kN5J7PYiPwVwdQALLl9nVaEZnjwtlOBJqUn_SD1kB77BOSNZZnQ/s200/TS290247.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5052547402615003490" border="0" /></a><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5399295.post-86607478379518488882007-04-05T22:24:00.000+09:002007-04-05T23:25:06.100+09:00<div align="right"><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;color:#006600;">2 years on,</span></em></strong></div><div align="right"><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;color:#006600;">2 years late,</span></em></strong></div><div align="right"><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;color:#006600;">2 years to go...</span></em></strong></div><br />Today is my <strong><span style="color:#3333ff;">second anniversary</span></strong> of chronicling the happenings in the life of <strong><span style="color:#ff6600;">"An Aussie in Japan"</span></strong>. I find it perfectly poignant that on this day, my <strong><span style="color:#3333ff;">second anniversary</span></strong> of my arrival in Japan to pursue postgraduate studies, that I am now where I've always felt that I should have been two years ago. But I'm here now... if somewhat fashionably late...<br /><br /><p align="center"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/20249987@N00/281576891/"><img alt="Car 2" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/104/281576891_10dad32f16.jpg" width="400" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3