Me and my 400 kg television
(or, My 400 kg television and I)

It's essential to have a television if you're trying to learn Japanese. That's how I'm justifying my recent purchase. I went to Akihabara yesterday to buy a television, but everywhere was selling the flat screen plasma/lcd tv's that would have required me to prostitute myself for the better part of the year in order to pay for it. I'm not ruling that out, but I needed a TV NOW! The plasma one will have to wait...

So I managed to find a small, nondescript, backalley TV store that looked like it could sell you a kidney or a lung if you had enough cash on you, and bought a small flatscreen TV. But it turns out that the reason its so cheap is because you have to carry it home yourself.

"Not a problem, how much does it weigh?", I ask. "12 kg", says he ("he" being the nondescript owner of the nondescript TV store). "Thats fine! I'm a strapping young Aussie lad that used to bicep curl 20 kg - this is nothin'! NOTHIN'! Just wrap it up for me my fine fellow, stamp "CHEAP-ARSE FOREIGN UNI STUDENT" to my forehead, and I'll be on my way!"

The trip from Akihabara to home takes maybe 40 minutes - involves 5 train stations and 3 different train lines. I also had the supreme foresight to carry it home at 5pm - rush hour in Tokyo... and thus begins another episode of the melodrama that is my life.

Forget for a moment that the hordes of people all seemed to be rushing in the opposite direction to me. Forget that there were staircases where I never remember there being staircases. My biggest problem was the weight of this seemingly light TV. By the time I had walked from the store to the Akihabara train station, the TV magically seemed to gain weight - it was now 15 kg. Akasaka-mitsuke - 50 kg. Shibuya - 90kg. And by the time I had made it home, the TV weighed 400 kg.

It now sits snuggly wedged up against the side of the table on the floor (because I don't have an extension cord and couldn't be arsed buying one at that point) and I have to lie horizontally on the cold wood floor in order to watch it... ho hum.