Hello, my name is Alan!

What the hell was my mother thinking when she came up with my name? I often wonder about this. She tells me that it's unique - and that she wanted me to have a unique name. She says that she took the Scottish name "Callum" and changed the spelling slightly to "Kallun". Which is great and thoughtful and all, but nobody pronounces it correctly. Even I have had my doubts. I remember calling her one night when I was out with some friends and I was off-my-face drunk, and I was asking her whether we had been mispronouncing my name the entire time - its spelt with a "u", and yet we've always pronounced it like it was an "a"... So when I tell somebody my name for the first time, 30-40 seconds of confusion always follows. Introducing myself to a girl in a noisy club is always an experience -

[Random girl] "What's your name?"
[Me] "Kallun"
[Random girl] "What?"
[Me] "Kallun!"
[Random girl] "What"
[Me] "KALLUN!!" (very noisy background music)
[Random girl] "JACOB?"
[Me] "WHAT?!? NO!"
[Random girl] "KEN?"
[Me] "NO! KALLUN!"
[Random girl] "OHHH! ALAN!!"
[Me] "YEAH! THAT'S IT!"

Oh well. Close enough. Clearly my mother didn't have the foresight to give me an easy-to-pronounce name for 'pick-up' purposes. And nobody spells it correctly. The spelling isn't obvious, so mostly, I don't blame them. Mostly... When it's a certificate from a school or university or so on, and they spell my name wrong, I get annoyed. Don't even get me started on my surname. I'm damn tempted sometimes just to change my name to 'Bob'... just 'Bob'. My life would be so much easier. My reason for writing about my name is because I found a site that explains the personality of people with certain names - mine, correct spelling and all, was listed there. It says:

Although the name Kallun creates the urge to be both logical and technical, we emphasize that it causes an unscrupulous, materialistic approach that frustrates higher humanitarian qualities. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the elimination system and reproductive organs.

The name of Kallun gives you a practical, shrewd nature with interests in business and the world of finance. You judge most things by their material value and you are usually pre-occupied with seeking your own financial independence. You desire to be in a position of leadership, for you can see where all the details fit into the overall situation and you have analytical and organizational ability.

What the hell does it mean when it says that my name "causes an unscrupulous, materialistic approach that frustrates higher humanitarian qualities"? And "cause weaknesses in the elimination system and reproductive organs"??? More importantly, was my mother aware of this legacy she was giving me when she named me thus? Thanks alot, Mum! I'm definately changing my name to 'Bob'.

Out of curiosity, does anyone know of anyone called Kallun (same spelling)?