How to take Japanese Bath

onsen
Originally uploaded by Kallun's photo collection.

Chances are that you will have heard of hot springs, they exist in many countries - but Japan has built up an indestructable culture around them, and rare is the gaijin (foreigner) who can live in Japan and not ever visit an onsen (hot springs).

Putting it crudely, an onsen in Japan is a public bath - where alot of people go for the apparent curing qualities of the water (they contain minerals that are believed to be beneficial to ones health). The more cynical of you out there will think its just an opportunity for the Japanese to get their kit off and frolic naked in pools of water.

But being a gaijin and visiting an onsen is always a 'fun' experience. One reason being that being usually one of the only white people in the place, all eyes will be direct at you... more specifically, the penis. How big is it? Circumference? Colour? Circumcised? Does it wobble when the gaijin walks? Yes, all eyes will be on you and your best friend as you enter an onsen...

I've been twice in the past month - the first time of these two times was when I went back to Yamanashi-ken to see my host parents for Golden Week. In fact, the photo of Mt Fuji in that post was taken right infront of one onsen, but I cropped the photo because I though it would look nicer. Here is the original...

As you can see on the bottom left-hand side, there is a fence. On the other side of this fence, I soon learn after taking this photo, is my new 'friend' that I affectionately call 'callisthenics man'... There I was, in the onsen, I've had my obligatory shower to get clean, I open the door to go to the outside onsen where you can get a great view of Mt Fuji while your butt-naked (which you can do anywhere, really, but they tend to frown on it, and you might get a few stern lectures from the police) and I walk outside only to have my first encounter with Callisthenics man. It's not unusual to see Japanese men doing exercises at random times throughout the day, and at random places, but this is the first time I've ever seen it done in an onsen, and definately the first time it involved a naked 50 something year old guy bending over the edge of the onsen, facing Mt Fuji - arse squarely pointed in my direction doing his back stretches (or whatever it was). I may well have expected a picturesque view of Mt Fuji, but instead, not only do I get a 'brown eye' from a guy whose scrotum seemed to hang down to his knee caps, but it was a 'spread-eagle brown eye'! The guy looked like he was bracing for an enema...

The second time I went was when I had my trip to Gunma-ken. The people who organised the trip felt it was necessary to tell us how to bathe Japanese style, and proceeded to hand out a easy-to-understand one page document with pictures titled "How to take Japanese bath" (thus the dodgy-English title for this post). Of course, me being me, I feel obliged to educate the world on the art of bathing in Japan... below is a reproduction of the important text (with photos).

In Japan, people take bath with a lot of people.
It is considered taking a bath with others is one of the best ways of communication.
You can enjoy chatting with your friends in a bath.
What you have to pay attention is not to make dirty hot water in tab.
You must not put towel and soap into a bath. You should wash yourself before taking bath.
Reference to these pictures then please enjoy yourself taking a bath.

I'm not sure which is more disturbing - that 'people in Japan take a bath with a lot of people' (sounds like a setup for a really hygenic orgy), that 'you have to pay attention not to make dirty hot water' or that you should 'reference to these pictures then please enjoy yourself...' (I was told when I was younger that if I 'referenced pictures' and then 'enjoyed myself', then I'd go blind... now I'm getting express permission - what a great country!).

-------[left] Take your all clothes off before taking a bath-----

----[right] Do not leave the water running while washing yourself----

------------[left] Do not put a towel into bath----------

------------[right] Do not wash your cloths at the bath space----------

-------Wipe yourself before going to dressing room------

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I, however, notwithstanding the express prohibition, could not resist do a few loads of washing. So at night, when everyone had gone to sleep, I took down a washboard, some soap and a bundle of clothes and just went to town...