Australia

I told almost everyone I knew that I was coming back to Australia for the Christmas holidays, so imagine my surprise when there was no red carpet leading out of the plane to the airport when I touched down, or when they told me to line up in the commoners line at immigration instead of the VIP/Diplomats line, or that there would be no limosine full of super models waiting to greet me, and that I'd have to catch a train into Sydney.

But my time in Australia was great. I spent my first night in Sydney, having had no sleep and little food on the flight over, getting off-my-face drunk while suffering from the flu-from-hell. I think that the moral of this story is not to go drinking while sick. I ended up drinking until 4 in the morning, and had to wake up the next morning at 10 to catch a flight to visit my parents. The moral of this story is not to catch a plane when both sick and hungover.

One of my big goals while in Australia was to get my hair cut. Getting my hair cut in Japan always has the potential to turn into a drama if I'm not careful. For example, getting my hair cut in Japan is usually at least 2 to 3 times more expensive than it is in Sydney. Mostly because the barber/hairdresser insist on washing your hair, massaging your scalp, and then deftly running a razor over your face while you sit there, head back, shampoo still in your eyes, fingers crossed hoping that he doesn't nick your jugular. So far, so good, but I just want a simple bloody haircut. On days when I feel like going a little crazy, I might let them put wax in it, but just cut the damn hair.

So I waited until I came back to Oz to have my hair cut, and I left it until the morning of the day that I was flying from the town my parents live in to go back to Sydney. Figured that I should get all spruced up for my week of frolicking with friends in the big smoke. So I woke up, stumbled down the stairs, and mum is on the phone booking me into one the few hairdressers in the area that have an opening. "11:45 or 1:30?" mum asks, "1:30" says I, "1:30" mum says into the phone. All sorted. So I rock up to the hairdresser at 1:30, walk in, and I tell the lady behind the counter that I'm there a haircut.

"How would you like it done?", she asks. "With scissors would be nice...", I thought to myself. Then she looks down at the book and said "I'm sorry, we're booked out for the day".

"I made a booking this morning", says I.

"Your booking was for 11:45. Sorry." she responds. Liar! "I can fit you in later in this afternoon".

"That's no good, I'm flying out at 6:20pm."

"Well, I can cut your hair at 6pm..." she offers.

What? WHAT!?! It takes at least 30 minutes from town to get to the airport, not to mention having to check in, be subjected to a cavity search, etc. Why would she even suggest it? Wasn't happy.

--------------Some photos of Sydney---------




I'd like to thank some people for my time in Australia:

• Mum - Cheers! You're tops! Thanks for giving birth to me - best thing you ever did!
• Brian - For letting me stay at your place, and for driving me around.
• Anna & Matt - Congratulations on the engagement. But Anna, if it doesn't work out, you know my contact details, so give me a call. And Matt, if it doesn't work out, you know my contact details, but don't bother calling because I'll be with Anna...
• Suzy - For being certifiably insane - being with you makes me feel normal.
• Leebie - For being so angelically pure and nice - being with you makes me feel like a drugged up, whoring heathen - whereas infact, my life is pretty dull.
• Scott - For letting me crash at your place, and keeping me up drinking until 4am the night before my 10 am flight...
• Loz - For helping me buy clothes... with you're help, the ladies have been falling all over themselves trying to talk to me.