EPISODE 3 - Los Angeles

Of all the things that LA has to offer - Disneyland, Universal Studios, TV Studios, Hollywood Boulevard, and charming whackos that seemingly blend comfortably into the city scenery, the best part of my time in LA was the 15 minutes I spent walking across the campus grounds of UCLA. The grounds were green, fresh and sprawling and the atmosphere was electric. This contrasts strongly with the homage to cement that is my current university, with its depression-inducing architecture that can't decide whether it's trying to be gothic or cubist, and my former law school in Sydney that was smack-bang in the middle of the city that was more akin to a morgue than it was to a tertiary institution designed to foster academic advancement. The underground classrooms were affectionately known by one and all as "The Dungeons".

That aside, the hotel we stayed at was nice... or at least I think it was. I couldn't see much of it because it was just so damn dark. Brown curtains were hung over the walls, and the whole hotel lighting system seemed as though it were powered solely by a guinea pig running on a wheel. For the price we were paying, I would have expected the place to be lit up like the Olympic stadium on football grand final night. Apparently, Marilyn Monroe lived there for several months, and somebody quipped that perhaps that's why she overdosed... she couldn't see what pills she was taking.

Universal Studios was great - if for no other reason we decided to splurge and purchase the "front of the line" passes for the day. Probably one of the better decisions that I've ever made in my life, because there is nothing more satisfying than going on a popular ride twice in a row without having to wait, and jumping to the head of the line and walking past the same group of people you saw waiting the first time you went through. It was all I could do not to let out an evil, self-satisfied chortle... needless to say, I figure that I've developed a superiority complex here in LA.

Disneyland, on the other hand, was a completely different story. The`'happiest land on earth' was host to nearly 500 billion happy people on the day we decided to go, all of whom were happily waiting in hour long lines. After Universal Studios, its 'front of the line pass' and my newfound superiority complex, it came as a massive shock to my ego that I would have to wait in line like an average pleb. What's more, the design, layout and attractions were almost exactly the same as that of Tokyo Disneyland, which I been to 5 times already.

-----------DISNEYLAND - THAT DAMN SWORD WAS BOLTED INTO THAT DAMN STONE---------

We also went to go and see the taping of the TV sitcom, "Rules of Engagement", with David Spade, Megyn Price (I used to watch her other show, "Grounded for Life") and Patrick Warburton (Family Guy). What is normally meant to be only a few hours of taping dragged into midnight for a very unfunny 5 hours. Some of the scenes were pretty funny, but I was laughing mostly at the ridiculous amount of laughter coming from the rest of the audience and the crew themselves. I spent most of my time either watching the crew who were staring at the audience, or trying to make polite conversation with the grandmother sitting next to me who was absolutely disgusted at me for not being equally infatuated with Australian singer, Keith Urban or being able to recite the name or lyrics of any of his songs...

-------TIGER WOODS JUST AFTER HE SMACKED A GOLF BALL INTO SOME LADY'S HEAD-------