Sub-zero frivolities

I was unwillingly enlisted last week to attend a meeting today for my part-time job, and so, in an utterly superfluous effort to impress people I've never met and will probably never see again, I donned my best attire, brushed my hair, polished my shoes and made for my apartment door to leave for work, only to be met by a wall of goose bump-inducing, scrotum-shrinking, breath-freezing.... coldness!

I do have a jacket, of sorts, but its "avant-garde, devil-may-care, falling-apart-at-the-seams" quality did not mesh well with my very expensive, new, dashing suit. Vanity prevailed (as it always does in my case), and I proceeded on my way to work without a jacket (aforementioned scrotum-shrinking notwithstanding).

I saw a kid walking to school in the opposite direction on my way to the train station. He had a very warm looking down jacket that was just begging me to rip it off his back and put it on my own. That he was probably only 8 years old and half my size made my plan ever more feasible and tempting, but his jacket, as grossly oversized as it was on him, would not have fit me.... but then I could have ripped out the down feathers and stuffed them in my pockets for that modicum of extra warmth. I ultimately decided against assault and battery and left the kid alone.

As such, my day was a very cold and unforgiving one. The moral of the story is that doing the right thing by not beating up little kids and stealing their jackets leaves you feeling cold and miserable... and if that little brat crosses my path tomorrow morning, he's going down!