This is the beginning of something... smelly

There was something rotten in the state of Denmark, or, at the very least, there was something utterly rancid in my new apartment - there was a potent, god-awful stench that emanated and insinuated itself into every corner of every room in my new place, that waited at the door for me to return, like a lion waiting for the opportune time to pounce on an unsuspecting gazelle. I had simply assumed it to be little more than leaking sewerage pipes, or a dozen rotten corpses ingeniously and surreptitiously hidden away into yet-to-be discovered nooks and crannies.

After having tried attacking and cleaning what I had originally suspected of being the source: the forest of mould underneath the bathroom sink which I had only discovered (on day 3 after having moved in) when I had slipped in my metal bathtub, fell on my arse, only to look up and bear witness to my new indoor greenhouse. After that failed, I then tried to mask the smell by strategically placing more than a few room freshener thingamabobs around the joint. When that failed, I then set about triangulating the source of my apartment's aromatic discontent. Long story short, I am a genius.

My new place is great - for one, it's big... nay, huge...nay, gargantuan! It's at least four times larger than my old dormitory room. But then, I've always maintained that if you can touch the opposing walls of your apartment at the same time, then you are, in fact, enclosed in a prison cell, so my old dorm room doesn't properly serve as an accurate basis for comparison. To put things into context, you could have a reasonably decent conga line going on in my living room...

The only problem is that I don't yet have a fridge, a washing machine, my gas or Internet connected, a study desk, book case, table, seating of any description, or, for that matter, a bed! Admittedly, I do have a futon, but it's pathetically single (much like it's owner) and is, to my mind, a glorified, and decidedly uncomfortable, mattress. If I can get an Internet connection at the very least, I figure that I can survive indefinitely without the rest.