Don't drop the soap!

"Whatever you do, don't drop the soap!", he said.

My boss was ever so clever with his witticisms, such that when I told him that I was going to visit the local jail as a part of a university field trip, he came up with this brilliant adage on bathroom behaviour.

Indeed, it was true that when my professor gave me a copy of the itinerary for the day at the bar after class, I mistakenly used it as a coaster for my beer and so I had no idea what the field trip would involve. I did, however, correctly suspect that my day would not involve showering with inmates, much less the handling of hygiene products of any description.

My boss laughed, amused at his excellent sense of humour... I chuckled nervously, and silently resolved that I would shower twice a day for the week preceding the field trip to decrease any likelihood that the professor would spontaneously suggest that I join the inmates in sudding up.

I made it through to the end of the day of the field trip with the biblical integrity of my posterior intact...