Good news! I'm alive!

Well the good news is that I'm alive - the bad news is that the x-ray machine that University Health Centre used to arrive at this conclusion looked like a relic that was smuggled out of Chernobyl, and with all the radiation I think I've been exposed to from it, I may not last much longer...

So I had my annual health checkup (see generally Supersize Me). I think I'm ok - apparently they'll only tell me the results of the tests if there is something wrong. Here is the schedule for the tests:

----If you fail the blood test, it's into the second floor hole with you!!----

---------------------------------------

You probably can't read it, but it says that step 6 involves a blood test, and then part two of step 6 (to its right) it says "The second floor hole"... So I guesss that if you fail the blood test, that's where they put you - I, with my wit, dexterity and fantasticly capable blood, passed the blood test, and I then got ushered into the "Mental Health Room" (Step 7). Interestingly, only the gaijin (foreigners) had to do the psychiatric testing - either we're considered especially mentally unstable (not altogether untrue), or they're just too scared to test the Japanese students in case they find out how crazy they really are.

I knew I'd have fun in the mental health checkup, though, and I wasn't disappointed. It started with a lady coming up and asking me to select which language I would like to do the survey in - English, Chinese or Korean... I looked at her... she looked at me... I kept looking at her... she asked me again... I said "English" with the straightest face I could, and she went back to her corner to sit on her chair. I was so tempted to say "Chinese".

Incidentally, the first time I lived here, my host mum came up to me and asked "Kallun, are you sure you're an Australian?", to which I replied "Yes. I'm certain of it." Unconvinced, she shook her head and said, "Because you look like an American..." Huh??? What do you say to something like that?

So I sit down to fill in this bloody survey. Here are some of the questions -being as boring as I am, I just ticked "no" to all the questions.

--------------------------

--------------------------

[#1] Do you hear voices that no one else can hear? Yes, when I have my headphones on and I'm listening to my mp3 player...

[#2] Do you get nervous or scared when people watch you write? The beauty of this question is that the lady sitting in the corner of the room is watching you fill the survey in... I took a brief moment to chuckle at the intrinsic comedic value of the situation... she probably thinks I've lost it, though... she's probably right.

[#3] Have you been sleeping very well lately? Well, I haven't been sleeping very well recently, but that's only been over the past week, and the night before I was fine, but I ticked "no" just for the hell of it. That was a mistake! "Why? When? How? Who? Where?" - the bloody questions didn't stop. I told him that I have alot of sefure (lit. sex friends) and they keep me "busy", if ya know what I mean (wink, wink). He had a good chuckle, and I'm not sure if his laugh was a "You-are-such-a-bullshit-artist" kinda laugh, or a "Yes-I-know-all-too-well" kinda laugh. But he then looked at me sternly and repeated the original line of interogation, so I'm guessing it was the former laugh. I had to put an end to it by telling him that I slept next to a train line, and he seemed to buy it... Well I don't actually sleep next to the train line, per se, but my room is next to it - I don't know what he thought I meant, though.

Thankfully, I made it out of the room without a straight-jacket... it was touch-and-go, though.