Crazy Japanese Game Show

Sub-zero frivolities

I was unwillingly enlisted last week to attend a meeting today for my part-time job, and so, in an utterly superfluous effort to impress people I've never met and will probably never see again, I donned my best attire, brushed my hair, polished my shoes and made for my apartment door to leave for work, only to be met by a wall of goose bump-inducing, scrotum-shrinking, breath-freezing.... coldness!

I do have a jacket, of sorts, but its "avant-garde, devil-may-care, falling-apart-at-the-seams" quality did not mesh well with my very expensive, new, dashing suit. Vanity prevailed (as it always does in my case), and I proceeded on my way to work without a jacket (aforementioned scrotum-shrinking notwithstanding).

I saw a kid walking to school in the opposite direction on my way to the train station. He had a very warm looking down jacket that was just begging me to rip it off his back and put it on my own. That he was probably only 8 years old and half my size made my plan ever more feasible and tempting, but his jacket, as grossly oversized as it was on him, would not have fit me.... but then I could have ripped out the down feathers and stuffed them in my pockets for that modicum of extra warmth. I ultimately decided against assault and battery and left the kid alone.

As such, my day was a very cold and unforgiving one. The moral of the story is that doing the right thing by not beating up little kids and stealing their jackets leaves you feeling cold and miserable... and if that little brat crosses my path tomorrow morning, he's going down!

Believe it or not,

'to inebriate' is a verb...

...and I've been inebriating myself a fair bit, recently.

The opportunities to partake in the odd alcoholic beverage arise thus:

[Random Friend 1] We've just won a competition! Would you like to come celebrate with us?
[Me] Sure!

[Random Friend 2] I've just come back from Germany! Meet me in the lobby with some beers in 10 minutes!
[Me] On my way!

[Random Friend 3] Hi! There is a welcome party for the new students in the faculty, how would you like to...
[Me] Absolutely!

[Boss] It's the office Xmas party this tonig...
[Me] Deck the halls, fa la la la la and all the rubbish... LET'S GO!

[Random Friend 4] Hi! I was wondering if...
[Me] I've got a 10 minute headstart on you - bring more grog!

Such is the chronicle of my sordid descent into binge drinking... or as best as my conscious mind can piece together, at least. My descent was hastened by the devilishly attractive Japanese service of offering an "all-you-can-drink" option at bars/restaurants. A little on the expensive side, but for those of us blessed with Australian genes (and the genes of my own personal parents, who are each disturbingly impervious to any amount of alcohol), then the whole night works out to be a spectacular bargain. The photo to the right was a result of a room full of Australians, and was taken 5 minutes before our time in the restaurant was up... all glasses were empty within the alloted time limit... and 6 of these glasses curiously seemed to find their way via my hands into Aunty M's bag for souveniring purposes.

Pounding the pavement

I've taken up jogging. I try to do it every night, or every second night, at least. It's my compromise for being too lazy and not bothering to get up off my arse and go to the gym. Instead, now, I end up doing two laps past the local gym - the underlying irony to this does not escape me...

I'd like to say that I jog because of all the health benefits - but mostly, I'd say it's because of the perverted pleasure I get out of running past all the people in my dormitory as they come waddling the other way, carrying their bags of McDonalds. I can only hope that I engender both guilt and envy, which will, in turn, or as my logic would lead me to believe, then absolve me from the guilt I get from also eating McDonalds... but then, no one at the dorm needs to know about that.

[Insert evil laugh here]