Congratulations... You're going to the Island

I went to go and see "The Island" with Aunty I today, and I have a theory. My theory is that the person who made The Island completely ripped off the Qantas ad...

They don't want you to know...

...that this scene from the Island...

...came from an Australian Qantas ad.

Maybe you have to see both the movie and the ad to get a true appreciation for the similarity.

I've lost my sense of humour

[23:15] I'm tired and I've got a splitting headache. Think I'll go to sleep.

[23:40] Have successfully managed to somehow get to sleep. This is strange for me, because I've had such a bad time sleeping for the past couple of months.

[00:45] Wake up for some reason. All I remember thinking was "I've gotta get up straight away!!"... I'm not sure why, but it took me a while to realise that I had just been sleeping, and this was another of my "suddenly awake" moments. Somehow managed to get back to sleep with no problems.

[02:00] Wake up again. Go back to sleep.

[03:20] Wake up again. This is getting bloody ridiculous. I can hear the people in the room next to me having carnal relations on an audible scale. From the sounds of it, they're trying to jackhammer a hole through to my room. I've now well and truly lost my sense of humour.

And so, I can't sleep, decided to write a post about it. I should probably try and get some study done while I'm awake...

Big Ad

I've got less than 3 weeks until my entrance examination, and so I'm locking myself in my room and studying for all of August. As such, I'll probably be posting less than normal. But for now, I found a link for an ad (commerical).

It's a 'Big Ad', and ads are bad. But it's about beer, and beer is good. Check it out if you have time. I hear its on Australian TV at the moment - click here.

Giddy with excitement

In addition to a law degree, I also have an Arts degree in international relations/politics, and I love elections. For example - last year, for the first time on Australian TV history, the two major free-to-air channels provided live broadcasts of American ABC and Fox news of the American election - I sat staring at the tv screen for 5 straight hours... I couldn't move the entire time. I was the same with the Australian elections. AND NOW something big has just happened in Japan (though not entirely unexpected). The Prime Minister has been hell-bent on trying to privatise the postal system, but there has been a great deal of opposition from both the other parties, and from within his own party. Today, the Upper House rejected the bill, and Prime Minister Koizumi has countered by saying that he is going to dissolve the Lower House and call a snap election for September 11.

I'm just giddy with excitement...

Completion Ceremony

I am now 'complete'. Yes, months and months of mind-numbingly useless Japanese language classes came to an end yesterday when some non-descript, self-important little man, that I've never met, felt it especially important that he be the one to bestow upon me an equally non-descript piece of paper that does no more than evidence that my name is what I attest it to be, his name is what he attests it to be, and that we both agree that enough is enough and 'give-me-my-damn -completion-certificate -thank-you-very-much'.

My foray into educational mediocrity began not long ago in April, though it seems like the better part of my life has since been sacrificed in the quest for this bloody completion certificate. It began badly, tapered off into a quagmire of insignificance towards the middle, and came to an unsurprisingly anti-climactic end with a 'completion ceremony' that shall go down in the history books as the most needlessly sentimental, narcissistic gathering of illustrious paper-pushers, disturbingly-enthusiastic language students... and me.

The man who interviewed me at the start to determine which level class I should take, my good 'friend', opened the parade of pomposity with a stirring speech...

[Guy] Ladies and Gentlemen. Do you know long this University has been operating this language program?
[Cynical me] I couldn't begin to care...

[Guy - eyebrows raised, eyes wide] Twenty years!
[Cynical me] Good God, you're kidding me!

[Guy] Were you aware of this?
[Cynical me] Better yet - are the authorities aware of this? How can you be allowed to continue to operate this monumental waste of taxpayers....

[Guy] Are you surprised?
[Cynical me] Surprised. Astonished. Distgusted. Appalled. Flabbergasted. Stupefied.

[Guy] And do you know how many students have walked these halls?
[Cynical me] Oh, oh, wait! Let me guess! Let me guess! 134?

[Guy] 1792!
[Cynical me] Dammit! So close!

[Guy] You all had fun studying, didn't you?
[Audience laughs]
[Cynical me] That isn't funny!

[Guy] Though the writing system is quite confusing.
[Audience laughs again]
[Cynical me] That still isn't funny!

[Guy] And the grammar is very difficult!
[Audience laughs, collectively nodding their heads]
[Cynical me] Yours isn't!

[Guy rambles on a bit more, and then] I want you to remember that here in these classrooms, we teachers have planted seeds...
[Cynical me] This is getting kinda twisted...

[Guy] And you must each continue studying Japanese, and in doing so, turn this seed in to a flower...
[Guy looks like he is about to cry]
[Cynical me feels like I'm about to vomit]

Thankfully, at the end of this banal drivel, they served beer... if only they'd have served it before the ceremony it might have made it more bearable. If only they'd have served beer before the ceremony, I could have got suitably trashed, and slept through the insufferable speeches made by the illustrious paper-pushers (who none of us have ever met), the speeches by the over-enthusiastic representatives of classes from each level who felt it necessary to give 'shout-outs' to their buddies in the classes, and finally, joy of joys, the handing out of certificates. With 72 students this semester to get through, and my surname beginning with 'W', my day was destined to be a sad and sorry one...

At the end of it, I thought that maybe I was being unfairly cynical about the whole thing, but I ran into a staff member from the university (who I later found out was a pretty important guy), who I had a great time talking to and getting pissed with, and who commented on how good my Japanese is. I told him that I spent a year in high school here when I was younger. He laughed and said that he suspected as much - "No one who goes through this language program", he said, "ever gets to the point of speaking Japanese very well..."

I then felt justified in my cynicism...