A reprieve... of sorts

Let the birds sing and the angels rejoice - I get a one month break from work.

For once, the incompetence that so accurately characterises the bureaucratic behemoth that is the Japanese government has finally worked in my favour. The filing requirements for visa and work permit renewals are so deliciously convoluted that I won't be allowed to work for the next four weeks - which suits me fine. I have reading to catch up on, university classes to attend, furniture to wrestle with and negotiate to the ground from lofty Ikea shelves... and what's more, my plans for world domination aren't just going to implement themselves… (my minions are few, and rather recalcitrant, and aren't aware that they are, in fact, my minions)

I predict a gloriously hedonistic month ahead.

New Year Resolutions

shinnen akemashite
omedetou gozaimasu

(Happy New Year)

Most people I meet don't bother with new year resolutions... more often than not, they've long since given up after numerous failed attempts. I can forgive that, but personally, I love nothing more than setting myself goals and tasks to accomplish. I've got a reasonably good track record of getting what I set out to accomplish, and so the act of putting things down on a list makes them all that bit more achievable.

Take for example, three of my goals for 2006 - (1) learn Spanish, (2) road trip across America, and finally (3) pass the entrance exam to get into the Masters of Law program at university here. I accomplished each of those.

2007 is definitely going to be my year. The keyword for 2007 is spontaneity.

So, in the spirit of spontaneity, I've just decided that I'm going to bugger off to Osaka for the long weekend with a bunch of people I barely know... leaving tomorrow... just after I book a flight to go back to Australia in two weeks time... and book a flight to Korea for the long weekend after I get back from my two week sojourn to Australia. I guess, strictly speaking, that the act of organising these trips weeks in advance doesn't count as spontaneous, but it is a better alternative to wasting my weekends doing the same thing week in, week out.

Something else I'm going to do is try and do some more salsa lessons - after Alice and I kicked arse in Cancun, Mexico in the salsa 'competition'. Of course, the competition only had 4 other couples, and each were more geriatric than the other.

Also, I'm going to make a conscientious effort to take more photos of random stuff. This will mean carrying my over sized camera in my jeans pocket, causing passers-by to look at me with an even more curious expression than they already use. I think that the longer I live in Japan, the more I become immune to its idiosyncrasies, but I'll try...



And I plan on writing more posts on my blog.

Definitely looking forward to this coming year.

Australian Idle

It'd be brilliant if I could say that the reason for my absence is that I got into a fist fight the other week with some members of the local Russian Mafia here in Tokyo, only to be beaten up and sold into white slavery, shipped across to Eastern Europe, and have only now just managed to return to Japan by escaping in a container on a freighter sailing through the pirate-infested Malacca Straits between Malaysia and Indonesia, bound for Yokohama port.

That, unfortunately, would be a slight exaggeration.

The pace of my life recently has reached the stage such that the word "busy" woefully fails to harness the essence of just how hectic my days have become. It's sometimes tempting to wish for more hours in the day, but if that were to happen, knowing me, I'd just find more things to cram it full with. Between the three jobs I'm currently trying to hold down, and studying for the upcoming exams, how the hell am I supposed to make any progress on my quest for world domination?!? At this rate, the best I can possibly hope to get by the end of the year is perhaps a pacific island or two, and not greater part of central Asia - as per my previous plan.

But grandiose megalomaniacal schemes aside, my profound busyness has had an equally profound impact on my rathole, sweet rathole (otherwise erroneously referred to by the local council's residential zoning section as an "apartment"). It's not that it's unhygienic, per se, just that it doesn't quite pass the threshold test for clean. Chaotic is perhaps a more apt description. This is mostly due to the piles upon piles of newspapers that I have adorning the floor of my rathole. You see, being the ever conscientious student that I am, (prior to having to work every day) I used to wake up at the crack of dawn to scan the newspapers in the dormitory reading room. Once I found an article related to law/politics, I'd go and photocopy it (at great expense to myself). The local guards took pity on me - much like someone would on a mangy, flea-ridden dog - and so, instead of throwing the newspapers out at the end of the day, they would put them aside for me. So as long as I surreptitiously make my way down to the guard's desk after the stroke of midnight, and without letting any of the students in the dorm know about it, I get to keep the newspapers. The plan then goes that I'll read the newspapers, cut out the articles, and organise it into my folders... it's this part of the plan where I keep running into trouble. And so, my room is an impenetrable fortress consisting of Reuters and Associated Press articles. It makes negotiating my way out of the room on my way to work in the morning an interesting Olympic-qualifying acrobatic event.

In other news, the road trip is still going ahead (albeit, in a somewhat modified form). Since I last wrote about it oh so many moons ago, in was cancelled - then it was back on - then it was off again - then on - then off - on - off - I did the hokey pokey, turned around, and now it's back on again. As of today, the itinerary is to drive from:

San Francisco -> LA -> Las Vegas -> Some chapel, drunk, to get married to some random chick with me dressed up like Elvis -> Nearby sleazy hotel -> Court (for an annulment) -> Grand Canyon -> Roswell (to see the aliens... the truth is out there... or at least it better be, because I'm doing a whole hell of a lot of driving just to get there) -> Houston -> Cancun, Mexico.

And if I bother to keep my eyes open while I'm driving, I'll probably manage see a whole lot more than just that.... but then, where would the fun be in that?

My second and third weeks in the Gwat

So 356 days of blogging came and went, and I didn't even realise it. I've been going out pretty much every night, and travelling for the past two weekends.

First of all, I love it here in Antigua. It's a relaxed tourist town, and there is always something to do, and someone to meet up with. The picture to the left is of the volcano, Agua, and was taken near my language school. It's a nice enough photo, but it'd look a hell of a lot better if it erupted, and lava started flowing down the streets... fingers crossed.

Towards the end of my second week here, my morning teacher (I have one in the morning, and another in the afternoon) had a sore throat, and so her voice was pretty husky all morning... verb conjugation has never sounded so sexy. It was especially funny when she then turned to me, looking at me with concern in her eyes, and in her deep, titillating husky voice asked me "Do have a goma?" Not knowing what a goma was, I looked it up in the dictionary... turns out it means "condom". I stared back at her in disbelief... never have I been asked if I have a condom at 9.30 in the morning by a teacher. I pointed to the dictionary, confused, wondering what she would say if I said "Yes, I do have one." She looked at it and burst out laughing... turns out that goma is another word for "hangover" over here... After this moment of frivolity, she asked me again,

[Her] So, do you have a goma?
[Me] Yes.
[Her] When you say yes, do you mean a hangover or a condom?

I wouldn't tell her...

Anyway, here are some more photos from my time here. I hope to write some more in a few days time.

----------A cathedral in Antigua--------------

------The resort I went to 2 weekends ago---------

--The Antiguan sunset seen from the roof of my local pub--

Gwatamahoola

I'm off to Guatemala. I know, it's pretty random, but I'll be bumming around Antigua and the surrounding areas for just under a month. This means that my posts will be fairly erratic. Wish me luck.

Vietnam (part 2)

Click here to read part 1.

For the sake of my sanity, I've decided to write this in point form:

• Bargaining in Vietnam - I don't know that I'm really cut out for haggling with shop keepers - I'm a bloody wuss. When they started by offering a price that to me was a tenth of what I would have paid in Australia or Japan, I was happy to pay it. But Aunty M got annoyed at me, and took over the haggling for me. We'd communicate in Japanese to say how much lower we should go. Of course, when she wasn't there, I got weak. I got stalked by some old guy desperate to sell me a collection of old Vietnamese stamps. I made the mistake of looking too long, and he proceeded to latch onto my arm like a pitbull and beg me to buy it off him for a good 3 blocks. After the 2nd block, I saw some rich-looking foreigners coming the other way - relieved because I figured he'd give up on me and go after the money. No such luck. He then yelled something at me and walked away. I kept on walking around after that, and thought I was safe, but made a few wrong turns, and ended up in the place where I first came across him, at which point he started begging again. I gave in, and bought the collection for what was originally priced at US$45 for US$10. On the plus side, I did manage to get some cheap clothes and luggage... but again, that's thanks to Aunty M.
  


• Money for nuthin' - Funniest thing that happened to me on the trip - Aunty M and I were doing the touristy bit at the Temple of Literature, and we were looking through the souvenir shop, and all the souvenirs everywhere in Vietnam start to look the same after a while. I came across a bowl full of old coins, and just casually started sifting through them. I didn't know where they were from, and didn't see any point in buying them, until, as I was leaving, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a 100 yen coin. Then I sifted around, I found more and more. The beauty of this being that they were being sold for what turned out to be 75 yen... So I bought a wad of 100 yen coins, and some other souvenirs, and I ended up about breaking even. He he he.

There is a fair bit more to write, but I'm too tired now. Will write part 3 in a few days, I hope, before I go skiing... really looking forward to that. Until then, my photos of Vietnam are here for the meantime (half of them are thanks to Aunty M).

Vietnam (part 1)

Vietnam. A land where the food is cheap and delicious, the people are plentiful, and crossing the road is a death-defying exercise in dodging an oncoming wave of scooters - much akin to the game "Frogger" (see picture to the right). We (Aunty M and I) would have cars and scooters coming us like bats out of hell from every which direction, and like frogger, getting to the other side of the road would require a highly complicated combination of forward - back - forward - left - left - left - forward - back - do the hokey-pokey and turn around - scream - run to the other side. And then when our fearless frogger would be negotiating his way over logs and crocodiles, we had to weave our way through cyclos and over drains and pass vendors to make it to the relative safety of the sidewalk (see photo below). My frogger skills are now perfected.


In fact, this photo was taken from a cafe with a good view of the city. That's originally why I went up there, but then the waitress shoved a menu in front of me, so I had no choice but to order lunch. I decided to go the mango juice, and I flicked through the menu for something to eat, and the cheeseburger just sort of jumped out at me, so I decided to have that without even thinking. As I was giving my order to the waitress, I was halfway through saying "and a cheeseburger" when I suddenly started to regret it - here I was on my first day in Vietnam, and the first thing I eat is a cheeseburger! Sure enough, the waitress smirks and says to me "Big culture day, huh!" and walked away shaking her head.

I just wanted to die. I wanted the balcony to collapse and bury me alive. I felt so stupid. I told Aunty M, and as far as I know, she still hasn't stopped laughing at me. She even went out of her way to tell everyone we met on the trip all about it, and promised a horrible retribution if I didn't write about it on the blog. So here it is. I now have a complex about it. 'Nuff said.

Anyway, here are some photos from around Hanoi. Part 2 of my time in Vietnam will come later.











NB: I'd just like to point out that the last three photos were taken by Aunty M. Thank you.